Calculated Risks

 

Well Hello There,

Here I am. Didn't know if I'd blog or not today but I suppose I should do something with the rest of my day.

Um, let's see. Ah, so I went on a job interview today. I'm just gonna be honest here. While it was fun to get dressed up and fun to head back to my hometown (the interview was not where I originally thought it would be, nor is the job itself), when they told me what I'd be doing, it was like I could see a roadmap of my life unfolding before me and it was filled with tediousness and monotony.

You guys, I gotta make this Willow's Whimsy thing work.

I've had a couple people ask when I'm finally going to write a book too and maybe I should just try, well there is no try, there is only do, everything. Just through it all up in the air and see where it all lands. My life is not going to change if I don't start taking some risks; calculated risks. I do need to know what I'm doing on some level. What kind of book? Cuz I can do the life story thing but it'd be different now because I'm not out to shame anyone. I mean, I'd be truthful and I'd be clear that my truth is just that...mine but it would inevitably piss people off because I'm not the only one who was ever an asshole and I'd want to write about things that have hurt me and bla bla fucking blafflewiper.

And then there's...my dark and twisted self, my dark passenger to take from Dexter, who could truly write something horrific but...do I really want to put that out into the universe? My sister told me once that I would be awesome at writing porn, lol and I could, I could do that. I'd be laughing hysterically the whole time and half grossed out. But it could be done.

I might just try any number of things out of sheer desperation. That unfolding path I mentioned above, it's not good. 

So few people in this world get to do what they really want to and most of us are bots who do what we're told we're supposed to do...all our lives. And my dad, he did that, I mean not for my sister and I, but he did it for his second family and he got sick a year before he was supposed to retire and bear the fruits of his hard work. That sucks. That's something that's so hard for me to think about...still. Like, he got fucked man.

I'm not making any promises. 

But.

Let's do dis thang.

Ight, have a good rest of the day.

Be Blessed.

Love & Light,

Neecie