The "Stuff"

 

Good Morning,

I guess I'm in learning mode because I'm struggling a bit. I'm getting things done but there's a sense of really having to push myself.

I went to hard at the gym when I started and burnout is occurring. 

I just want a job but I don't want to look, lol.

Yes, yes, I want it all handed to me. 

I do know that's not realistic, I think I'm just in a mood today. Oh my gosh, it's been beautiful here and last night, well late afternoon, we had downpours, little ones, amidst the sun shining through the rain clouds, it was beautiful.

I am just feeling very unsettled. Very unsettled.

I had a friend go into the hospital two days ago and yesterday I didn't hear from him til early evening and I was freaking out but he's going to be fine. 

It's just so scary.

The littlest things throw me off. Still. It's so much better but when big things come up seemingly out of nowhere, I still have learning to do and practice to do on adjusting myself to the circumstances. Acceptance is the first part and then quiet reassessment I think. It's the quiet part that gets me. Not out loud quiet but the inner quiet required to do said reassessment. The Dalai Lama wasn't kidding when he called it the monkey brain. I've got one in my head, shaking and rattling the bars of it's cage, shrieking and slinging turd around.

Good Lord.

Anyways, today is another day. I have paid some bills, I'm about to shower and meditate, go on a walk and then go to the gym.

Then I'm headed out to my sister's place. I was going to stay the night but I'm so out of whack, I really think I want to be in my own bed tonight and do some of that adjusting and figuring out my week next week.

Meditation seems like such a simple thing but I've hardly done it this week and I feel the effects when I don't and I don't like it so that's got to be part of what I do. It's like eating and breathing. We gotta do it to live. There's living physically and there's living spiritually. Spiritually not religiously. The two do not go hand in hand for me. 

I don't know, it feeds my soul and helps me heal the "stuff" I carry. My baggage if you will.

So off I go to live another day. It's going to be a bit cooler today but tomorrow, we could hit 80. That's nuts.

But I'll take it. 

I hope you all have a good day. Let the sun shine on your face - but only if you have your sunblock on.

Be Blessed.

Love & Light,

Neecie