Self I Said

Happy Cloudy Cold Sunday,

Hey,  I'm up and I've been at it so to speak. My back went out and I fell into chaos. Not really, I just liked how dramatic that sounded.

What did happen is that I have to shut down when my back goes. If I push too much, I pay. So no working out, no cleaning, no organizing which led me down the road of entering the somewhat scary neighborhood known as Neecie's mind.

We shall not even discuss the scale. Many good things happened this week too. Someone close to me went to the doctor for one thing and ended up having to have some moles biopsied. Clean, no cancer. This person also got a pay hike that is something I can't even wrap my head around. I'm so so happy for this person. He worked his ass off. I'm inspired.

It got me to thinking about Willow's Whimsy and how my fear and laziness have kept me from doing all I can with this. I want to get going.

I have to do this smartly. I can't just go order thousands of dollars worth of supplies. I made a deal with myself that I won't spend to much on this based on a whim. Ha! See what I did there. I told myself, "self," I said, "get a fucking job already and then you can spend." 

But I will spend enough to come up with a lotion I like and to play with colorant and also to make a killer body butter. Also, planning is free. I can research stuff, I can come up with my new logo, I can experiment with the supplies I still have.

That way, the focus can easily be switched from researching to job search and vica versa or however you spell that shit.

Another scare two nights ago. My daughter texted me from her job telling me they were going on lockdown because the YMCA next door had been shot up. Well, I drove over there and they weren't on lockdown, which pisses me off. The shooter could've showed up there, trying to blend in. Yeah, I watch to much fucking TV. But I guess a bunch of little kids showed up at my daughter's work and they were crying and stuff. 

Fucking idiots, bringing their stupid fucking gang beef shit to a public place where there are families and children.

My daughter was safe, is safe and for that, I am grateful.

Other than that, I did slip into a funk. I mean, yeah, it was a depression but this morning, I organized the dining room. The table had been covered in all my stuff and so that's done. I've done a load of laundry, meditated, showered, got the dishes in the sink rinsed and into the dishwasher. I'm about to do a quick pickup of my room, get the laundry folded and go rollerskating. I'm leaving from the rink and going right out to meet a friend for lunch.

And yeah, I have a list for today but it's mostly sit down stuff, computer stuff for what I mentioned above.

So nothing cray cray. I do need to keep my back in mind and if I need to rest, I will rest.

I ended up being really gross and hardly bathing this week but I made up for that yesterday and plan to attack this week like I gotta fire unner me arse.

I hope you all have an amazing day.

Be Blessed.

Love & Light,

Neecie