52 Weeks of Blogging: What Do I Hate About Myself

 Hi All,

I have a bunch of stuff I have to do. I'm so grateful to myself, lol, for getting all the cleaning done last week. 

Because I deflated this week. I don't know if I'm right, but let me tell you, I think this may be it: I think I might've gotten Covid at some point and am now am experiencing long Covid symptoms. I have no other reasonable explanation for the exhaustion. 

There is so much going on with me and yet, paradoxically, there is little going on with me.

I'm too tired to write about all that. I'm OK so please, no worries sent my way. I'm going to try my hardest to be ready to start up my videos again by sometime next week and I'm hoping to talk about some of this then.

But for now, a friend of mine asked me if I'd like to participate in 52 weeks of blogging and I agreed to give it a shot. 

So once a week, I'll do a topic. Today's topic is "Something I Hate About Myself". That's a fully loaded one, right? Especially for someone who has struggled with self-loathing and self-sabotage her whole life. 

Hate is such a strong word. I have little regard for it and it has no purpose in my life. It ruined my life in so many ways so let's just say that I really don't hate anything about myself. That said, there is still plenty that I am working towards overcoming.

I don't hate my mental health shit but I wouldn't be sad if it went away. 

I can take all of it except the lethargy and procrastination piece. Follow thru has almost always been a struggle for me. I give up so easily. I don't know, maybe I'm allergic to hard work. So I'm working on pushing through that.

And then, you know, the tummy stuff; the IBS. It's better. My god, this past two weeks have been a miracle and I ask myself, "what changed" and it was exercise, drinking lots of water, stress management and diet. Oh! Not about me but I hate the word diet. I don't go on diets anymore. I just try to eat healthier. And my IBS has chilled. Yeah, I hate the IBS, I hate when I have attacks, I hate the pain, I hate how dirty it makes me feel no matter how much I shower. It's the kind of thing you learn to live with, right? But now that, for the better part of a year, it's been so much better, I can deal with it when I do have relapses into the pain and the diarrhea and the bloating. I also now know how to put an immediate stop to the gas attacks; activated charcoal does the trick every time.

So hatred, and like I said it's not even hatred really, but strong dislike, for lethargy and shit. Ha!

So, I'll let you know how things are going and if I post a video.

I hope you all have a beautiful day.

Be Blessed.

Love & Light,

Neecie